Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Almost Broke Down

While leaving the garbage today on my motorbike I felt like I was fleeing. I drove faster and faster then had to stop the bike and get a hold of myself. I almost broke down, almost started crying. At first when I stopped my mind was filled with the thoughts of the children that I photographed that night, the coughing child, his sisters and brothers. At the end of the evening their was a young baby girl sleeping under mosquito netting near where I parked the motorbike. She was alone, under the netting in the middle of the dump, then her foot stuck out, that is when I noticed her as I sat on my bike preparing to leave. I got off the bike made some pictures and drove away.

Everything then came flying back through my mind, I had trouble breathing, catching my breath. A bit of a panic attack or something like that happened, then the feeling of needing to cry. Took some deep breaths and gathered myself for a couple of minutes before starting up the motorbike and driving home. Still feel lost and a bit confused many hours later as I write this. Being here is hard sometimes.