Saturday, October 14, 2017

Traveling Tales (Tails? Tales!)

I have 2 traveling stories, related to my time in the air before Bangkok, both are from the 12 hour hop (more like a painful drag through sharp rocks) from Vancouver Canada to Taipei Taiwan, the 2nd leg of my 3 plane journey back to Thai.

Tale #1

The story of, the baby is sitting where?

After I squished myself into my window seat, 62A on the left side of the plane, two people sat next to me, a middle seat Vietnamese dude (short but chubby, he hogged the arm rest) and a skinny Asian girl in the isle seat, probably Taiwanese. I had wedged myself into place when a young women with a baby walked down towards the back of the plane. I thought thank goodness, then she STOPPED!, looked at the seat number and sat directly, yes fricking directly behind me. The baby started crying!!!! I am not a big baby guy, never had a child, always hated the noise thing, something real parents seem to be able to ignore. Now here I was sitting directly in font of a baby wailing at full volume. Was I in hell, it certainly felt that way!?

The baby cried and cried. and then for a change of pace cried yet again! The mother tried her best to keep him quiet but for the next 12 hours he cried maybe a dozen times, not sure, lost count. There was also a ton of kicking, pushing and shoving of the back of my seat. I think the mother had the baby on the food tray table and he was kicking some major ass (around 1 year old I think). It was rather amazing, felt like I was in some kind of Peter Sellers/Adam Sandler pain and suffering comedy. Was there a camera hidden somewhere recording my reactions? I put in my ear plugs and tried to get through it as best I could. A painful experience the 11 hours without walking, no bathroom break, did not help. I did not want to disturb the people sitting next to me. Eventually the Vietnamese guy got up for the second time and I was able to escape for a pee and a walk round before landing. That made things much easier.

Tale #2

The story of, the lovey dovey kissing couple.

At the airport gate in Vancouver I had seen a young couple kissing. They looked to be in love, young mid 20s, him with a shaved head, her long brown hair with a the look of a person who helps others in need. They seemed to me to be a couple going to Asia to backpack around and live on the cheap. She has a gold wedding band on her left hand ring finger. OK fine, no biggy a couple in love, kissing at an airport gate. The Thai person in me was a bit uncomfortable with it, many older Thais do not show public affection but that is changing with younger couples. The Western person in me was like go for it guys while you can, life is to short to waste.

So I get into my squishy seat, with the baby behind me, I am looking straight ahead when the lovey dovey kissing folk sit directly in front of me. She in front of my seat, he in the middle chair. I get to now view their LOVE, up close and personal. My own personal reality TV show.  I can even look at the space between the seats to gather more gory details. So with the baby screaming in back of me, the  kissing starts up front.

Sometimes the kiss is one quick peck, other times its 2 or 3 longer smooches. Every 30 minutes or so the process is repeated. It goes something like this.  He looks left, she turns right. They look lovingly into each others eyes for 20 or 30 seconds, not saying a word, then a kiss or series of kisses. Another 30 minutes pass, and another sequence of loving looks and  kisses. On and on it went for the whole 12 hours!! 25 kissing sequences? Am not sure, lost count. This was sheer torture, I was forced to watch it, they were inches in front of me. Every time I thought I had seen the last of it, new love erupted.

I think he was the leader of the event. He was like a whale. You know how an ocean going whale requires oxygen, he was like that. The whale comes up to the surface for a breath, then dives down and does whale stuff before coming up for more air etc. I think this kissing bandit dude was the same, he required her kiss to live another 30 minutes. One time he even woke her up to get his needy addiction filled. He looked to his left and she was sleeping against the window, so he looked away. But 30 seconds later he looked left again, then leaned over, shook her shoulder till she woke before requesting another kiss. I thought to myself "Let her sleep you needy bastard!, stop being so selfish." That sort of neediness does not end well, wonder how long till they divorce?

:)

Anyway, made my way through it all. Even managed to sleep for 5 or 6 hours. I had a dream that Paul McCartney (I call him Paul) lent me his cellphone (white IPhone) on the plane so I could order a darkroom enlarger (??) from a shop in Los Angeles. Go figure dreams, they rarely make sense. Nice to know thou that I have Paul's cell to use whenever I need it.