Wednesday, July 1, 2015

The Plan

I got some very disappointing news today after my night shift. it looks like the 3 month or 6 month leaves are both no goes. I did not get the support of my on site boss so as a result no leave. Now all I will be able to do is to take my regular 3 weeks off work, which will allow me a total of 7 consecutive weeks when I combine them with my normal weeks off (I work a 1 week on, 1 week off schedule).

As a result of this major setback I have devised a plan for my future that at present seems the way to go. I will take the 7 week trip this year starting in November after the Rosebud exhibition. In September 2016 we have a plant wide shutdown at work so it is important I live up to my responsibilities and work through that period. After the shutdown is over I will ask for a leave again. I will have a new site boss at that time who may offer his/her support, if not, if it's a no go a second time then I will most likely quit my job. At that time I would have worked this one security site for 20 years, from 1996 to 2016. Leaving after 20 years would be tough but 20 is a good number. That's what dad said about the length of his lifespan "82 is a good number." 82 years of living is a good number and 20 years at the same job is a good number.

I would hate to leave where I work now as I have a comfortable job, and I work with good people but there are times in life thou when you have to make difficult choices. I want to do some important photography before I die, time is running out on me. I am 51 and counting, by then I will be 52 almost 53.

If I cannot get time off work my only other option is to quit. I will then have all the freedom I desire to make my pictures, and in between photo opportunities I can work odd security jobs here and there at various sites for less pay. If I have the freedom to make photographs, then I can take working a shitty security job at lower pay for 5 or 6 months until the next photo trip arrives. If I am working lousy sites I can start up and quit at my leisure without feeling any guilt or losing anything that is important. I can work when I want and photograph when I want. It could turn into a very creative and productive period of my life.

There are many reasons to go forward with this plan, most importantly I owe it to my father to fulfil my vow, to try to do the book and the dedication. I am not going to break my word. I might not succeed in this book dedication attempt but I sure as fuck am going to give it my all. I am going to swing for the fences, if I strike out, fine, I strike out, at least I was not a coward, I went for it.

I would rather live with the failure than the regret of not trying.