Friday, June 13, 2014

Helpless

Dad is losing so much weight, he is becoming weaker and weaker, smaller and smaller. You get such a helpless feeling, I want to help my father, I would do anything for him but I can do nothing, its so terrible, you feel so helpless and useless. All I can do is get him some food and try to get him to eat. Today I went shopping with mom and bought dad pineapple, blueberries and chicken wings. Mom also bought some pork hauks to make headcheese for dad. I visit him daily and tell stories about my day, tell him what I am doing around his home, whether it's cutting the lawn or moving things about but that's about all I can do. I wish I could do something, anything to make him feel better. He is slowly slipping away bit  by bit day by day.

I worry more and more about mom now, she is facing a lonely future without dad. Mom and dads 57th anniversary is July 6, I hope they can spend this last anniversary together, their long marriage has always been very important to them both, something they are proud of. On fathers day dad will probably be to weak to go out so I will bring him in some food from any restaurant he likes. We can spend a family meal together at the house, to honour our father.

It will be so hard to live life without him, to not be able to share stories, to get his advice and to feel his love.