Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Inspiration behind the "Lost Innocence" Project

I was thinking today on my drive to work about the inspiration behind my wanting to do the "Lost Innocence: The gogo girls of Southeast Asia" project.

During my many trips to Thailand I have seen many girls/women new to the bars who looked scared and uncomfortable but a moment that really hit home with me happened only recently. This recent incident had a powerful effect on me and brought out an anger that I had forgotten. Since I returned to Canada in March my mind keeps going back to this memory, its something that I cannot seem to forget.

Here is the story thats helped to inspire me to try and take on this very difficult project:

Back in 1999 in Thailand I met a man named Nor (not his real name) back then he was 57 he would be around 70 at the time of the story. Nor is a sex pat, a long time resident of Thailand who goes with bargirls daily (when he was younger he would go with 2 or 3 a day). During Nors sex pat life in Southeast Asia (Phillipines and Thailand) he has had sex with upwards of 5000 sex workers (women). Nor like most sex pats and sex tourists I meet in Thailand have an exagerated fantasy world they live as it relates to how much sexual pleasure they are giving their partners, what a good time he gives the woman, how they enjoy it etc.

Whenever I go to Thailand I usually meet up with Nor one time and have a talk. The goal in meeting Nor is to try and understand a bit about who he is and to learn about his life. Just like I try to understand the sex workers life, I try and understand the sex pats/tourists. My thinking is the more I know from both sides of the equation the more honest and powerful my photographs can be.

On my my last visit to talk with Nor he asked me to take a gogo bar tour with him. I have never visited bars with Nor before but I thought "What the heck why not", maybe it will help my understanding, help the photography. That night we went to 3 different bars spending maybe 2 hours together.
The first bar is where the project influence came from. We arrive at the bar door Nor walks in like an old pro, I follow we take a seat near the long stage filled with maybe 30 naked Thai girls/women (most very beautiful) moving slowly to the very loud music. Nore look up at the women with a complacent smile telling me how the night was slow and they usually had over 50 girls on stage in this bar. Most of the dancing girls have the same tired expression, they danced mechanically and with as little effort as possible. Some of the girls smiled in our direction making an effort to find a customer but most just looked away with tired jaded eyes.

Nor who is a regular at the bar and takes girls often got immediate attention, the mamason who ran the place came over quickly with a smile bringing him the newest girl to the bar. Nor has a reputation of wanting the fresh girls, the girls new to the bar world, the girls straight out of the farm. A young lady dressed in a skimpy bikini maybe 19 years old was ushered over to our table, Nor quickly reached out with his long arms and pulled her onto his lap. I looked over and saw him fondling her with a wide smile on his face, his face close to her cheek speaking into her ear. The girl (I never learned her name) did not look scared but she did look defeated, sort of like she had just given up on everything. You could tell she was very uncomfortable being held and touched by this strange old man but she was just like a rag doll, completely compliant, she was a cheap, quiet, submissive sex toy.

This memory is what inspired me to try to take on this series. I keep seeing that young woman being held by Nor, I keep seeing in her eyes and face a  look of helplessness and resignation. How many times will this happen to this girl? How many other girls is this happening to as I type this blog entry?

I have to tell this story, I need to tell their story.

Before we left the bar that night Nor gave money to the mamason for this young girl/woman. After he took me to 2 more bars, I left him and he returned to the first bar to pick up the girl take her back to his room.